in case you didnt know, i have a great fear for sunday nights or anything that reminds me that fun is going to be over. while i adore fridays(that is why i have that 'is it friday' ap on my desktop). and today happens to be those days that i detest. urgh. why why why.

not that i am not looking forward to school. in fact i am. because at least i feel like i have an aim in life during sem time and strangely become a little more efficient and procrastinate a little lesser.

and this has to be the sem which i have the best time table. no 8AMs. no 5-hour breaks and no 10-hour days. i still do not have a free day. but at least the lessons are spread out in this comfortable manner and provides enough free time in case i have project meetings or studios stuff.

was looking at the ivle page for laj1201. week3 hiragana quiz and week4 katakana quiz. siao. haha. thank goodness i know my hiraganas. but katakana.. hai. 習字here i come.

i dont know why but i am behaving more and more like a kancheong spider. why ah. for a good half of my life i have been living with no plan in life and does not feel stressed over anything. why. ue. damn sian.

just pasted these 4 pieces of A3 paper on my wall. of course to write down stuff on emcc and studios and school stuff that have been clotting my brain. and of course a list of things that i want to do:

learn softball
learn jazz drums
buy the long overdue ipod touch
buy dslr
finish the script
get tuition
ifg

some of which i have been talking about since the beginning of time. and also some new ones (yay like learn softball which i think is not too probable).

been watching red nose teacher. nice. it has to be the best this season. but the ratings are just so so. everyone is still watching the nhk ping ping piang piang period drama. watch if u are bored, ditch the buzzer beat la. it has a nice theme song only.

i guess this is what they mean by good things come together. i have 3 modules approved of my mapping. yay. 2 more to go. one to send to SoC for approval and the other, im eye-ing commercial photography. which then adds on to my already full list of uem modules. i hope they will let me do it as an arts gem. maybe.

finishing this sem i will be left with only arts gem and ss. ss somehow already settled for spore film and arts gem i guess most probably intro to film art if i cant map anything nxt sem. so year4sem1 a film sem.

and tmr finally a free day for me if im not going down for year3 talk. so yesh. a chance to just pack up my room (again) and to just tie up the loose ends. woo.

a surprise from menghui just now at choices shoot, he too took that module before. which makes him like the 4th person in studios that i know who have taken the module before. it's funny how so many of them have taken it (and even more for gek2020) and i dont even know. bo jio. but yes. finally. finally.

all along i have grumbling about sde friend has taken it, why havent i. it's really irritating to see him talk about taking modules that i want to take but have not taken yet. and hai i really hope to have him as a talent if i ever going to (finish) and film my script. but his face also a bit old. okay change. haha.

can sleep late. can wake late. can watch burning flames 3 till the morning. yay.

ohh and i ate pontian wanton mee this morning. which makes my mood even better.

爲了可愛的馬鈴薯們
這篇的youtube video就放在最下面啦

好累好累好累好累
累到我嘴都開不了
我的laptop一向來都是插speakers的
但今天我好想讓音樂淹沒我
換成了plug in
把音量調得好高

因爲我真的累了

還有少于7小時就得起身
在這7小時
我需要bid
需要blog
需要睡
需要充電
需調試我的心情

EMCC的事就告一段落
明天還有shoot

好想告訴desmond我好喜歡他們的nightfall
好怪
恥ずかしい

也太久沒用華語寫部落格
真的很忙
忙到我做了很不好的事
我把上頭給我的壓力出在下面的人
上頭催我催得更緊
完全違背了我自己
壓力啊壓力
我對不起你們
我一向嘲笑庸軍
我自己卻也犯了錯

而我也遇到了對手
投訴我不回簡訊的你們
原來我不是最遭的
相信我
我害怕的是承諾
不能保證的承諾
所以很抗拒回簡訊
就包容我嘛
我也會原諒那些人的

一個我從來不告訴別人的事
就是啊
以前的我不忙
但我有個很忙的朋友
我羡慕她的忙
忙讓人覺得她有好多事做
好多朋友
好有人緣
好充實
漸漸的
我讓我自己變得忙
忙得透不過氣
就開心
因爲我覺得自己好有用
但現在的我
太忙
忙得我都不知道爲什麽那麽忙
變得我家人見我的時間也沒了
我到底在追求什麽

itunes播的是lilac saints的nightfall
很喜歡這首歌
也讓我想到CASHLESS
對嘛
我們都在盲目的追求什麽

我找到也去臺灣的朋友了
新朋友
至少我不會死在他鄉吧
臺灣我來了
還有半年
好期盼


我是個déjà vu超強的人
我不單感覺一個情境熟悉
我連下一個動作
下一句話
都能說出來
通常夢到的好不可思議的事
都能實現
但déjà vu一向來都被科學推翻
漸漸的我好像也失去了這能力

相反的
我想象的東西就一定不會實現
奇怪的是
前陣子我想象的一樣東西
竟然會實現
也是很不可思議的一件事
感覺就像我中了頭獎一樣
我想啊想啊
但心裏知道不可能發生的事
竟然給我想到放生了

天啊

我自己都嚇了一跳
這就叫漸漸能控制自己的命運嗎？
哈哈哈哈
那我得快點想我進dean's list吧

那這篇
就獻給那些默默讀我部落格
又有好好聽華文科的你們
馬鈴薯們
對不起啦


if u watch circus action, u will know this week there is this part which they censored out. the whole part is already on leo's wretch. edited well and everything. watch it here. but dont say i never warn you. there is a reason why it is censored. hahahaha.

the lyrics is obiang. so what. haha. nice wah. haha.

i didnt know what i was doing the last 3 months. chasing deadlines after deadlines. finally, and it dawn on me on the ride back home that yes it has all ended. finish. owari. and okay it feels kind of lonely. haha. but finally a time for me to talk to myself.

emotion is the most impt one thing to artist and i have realised that i am almost emotionless. no i am not bored, i am not tired, i just feel nth. i dont know whether i should be proud of myself, but i have trained myself so much i am no longer holding my emotions, they are just totally non-existence.

the ride home was a happy one for me. or at least i know i still have that teeny weeny bit of emotions. i am going to miss the bunch of them. so much. that i am shocked by myself.

i love talking to people. knowing what they are feeling and why so. and tgt with all the myriads of emotions i have experienced myself, i really thought nothing will ever thrill me. desensitized see. and films are the only things that can make me feel human.

yes now i remember. that i have never felt so during graduations or anything similar. now i know how it feels. samishii na. but at the same time i am just so happy.

i have still a huge mountain of things that are waiting for me. but at least i guess for tonight, i shall devote some time for myself. and the people around me. matric fair and stupid CORS, tmr then see.

and yes keep to yourself see, always appearing offline see, always ignored see; you are smart, you are deep, your Q on your forehead face the outside world, so it's time to share some love on this see too. cue Eason's 新美人主义. i love you see.



forget everything everything. these 3 months are all but a dream. a good one, packed like an emotional roller coaster. but well, it's time to move on. Bhutan is still waiting for me and the world for me to save. haha.